The Five Love Languages: Chapter 2

Hi y'all

As promised, here are the questions from the wonderful book I'm reading "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition". Please leave any comments or look to the left for my previous blog about Chapter 1.

1) Which Of your relationships do you consider to be healthy?
My relationship with my two best friends is healthy. We seem to have the same love languages. One of my best friend and I have a healthy relationship, as I try my best to speak his love language, acts of services. My best friend's wife and I seem to have a healthy relationship as well. Those three really stick out in my head, maybe cause I worked the hardest on them.

2) Which of your relationships would you like to see improved?
My parents and brother and sister. I give them love and they give me love but I don't think we know each others love languages. So sometimes, we miss out on that feeling of being loved. Also my new coworkers. Because I don't know what love language they speak, sometimes they feel distant from me and sometimes I feel distant from them. This effects how we interact on the job and adds extra stress and frustration.

3) How would you describe your relationship with your mother? Your father?
My mom and I have a good relationship. but I feel sometimes she can be a bit critical and/or advice heavy. Sometimes I wonder if she even listens to me. My dad and I have an okay relationship. We have good and bad history. At times I have to remind myself all the good he has done for me and my family.

4) In dating relationships, how many times have you experienced Stage 1: Passionate love?
No. At least not together with the girl I'm dating. I always seem ready to jump into a relationship that looking back, maybe I got a little pushy and maybe didn't act truly out of love.

5) Were you able to make the transition to Stage 2: Covenant Love? Why or why not?
No and I think it's because I don't get to stage one. I like a girl but I almost always fall hard for her. I try too hard I guess, never fully acting with love and respect. And then sometimes I get so scared of falling so hard that I resist the idea of love, both passionate and covenant.

6) Are you willing to invest time in learning to speak the five love languages?
Yes. I truly believe if I can learn to speak the love language of my friends and family and coworkers, I can really make a difference in their lives, and my own. I've always felt good at making others happy and making others' lives easier. I truly believe learning to speak these languages might open the door to that. Maybe by learning these love languages, I can love myself more too.

Anyways, stay tune for Chapter 3.

Thanks
BJB

The Five Love Languages: Chapter 1

Hey y’all

I’m a single adult. And I’ve been struggling and/or trying to change that for a while now. I always believed that love is hard work, and showing love and being kind is a lot harder than showing hatred and being cruel. So in my attempts to find love and give love a ‘fighting’ chance in my life, I’ve started reading books by a man named Gary Chapman, a marriage counsellor.

Dr. Chapman wrote a book about the ‘5 Love Languages’. It talks about how each of us gives and receives love in a primary certain language. Some give and receive love by giving compliments, and giving positive words (This is called ‘Words of Affirmation’). Some spend an evening at home, or go to special events with those they love (‘Quality Time’). Giving and receiving small gifts of appreciation is another way people express love (‘Gift giving’). When you do things for others, like fix their computer or help watch the dishes at a friend’s BBQ, that’s another language of love (‘Acts of Service’). Finally, some people feel loved when they are hugged and hi fived than receiving words or acts (‘Touch’). You may receive love in two or three or all of these ways, but usually only one or two really make you feel good inside.

I have read many of his books. My first book was about how God speaks all those love languages. It really made me feel that God is all around us and is showing us with love every day, if we just listen. The second book was how you can use kindness, and honesty to express those five love languages. After reading both books, I really felt a desire to change my life to bring in more love and a belief that I could make that change and I could start right now.

My most recent book I have of him is using those five love languages and how it can be used to help singles adults in their lives. I thought it might make an interesting blog (or set of them) if we went through the book together, you and I. Now I’m not gonna go do a chapter by chapter synopsis. But after every chapter, he gives us ‘Things to Think About’. These are a series of questions that we would answer alone. Instead I will share those thoughts with you.

Why am I doing this? I guess I hope that if I do this, I will be honest with myself at least. I find when I write I don’t really hide anything from myself. And it would be nice to see that I’m not alone in my struggles to find love and be able to better express and receive it (Comment please!). Finally, I hope somewhere and someone, what I write here will make a difference in their lives.

Feel free to answer these questions alone or if you feeling extra brave, please answer them in the comment section below. If after doing all of this, you felt it was a good read, then I guess I got something really worth while out of this.

Question 1: To what degree do you feel loved by the significant people in your life?

I feel like I am loved by a very high degree by those people (let’s give an 8 to 10/10 shall we?). Both my family and my friends have shown me great encouragement and forgiveness and kindness and honesty in their relationship with me. I do feel sometimes that they kind of shower me with love in all kinds of love languages, even the ones that don’t really speak to me. So sometimes their attempts of love fall short. Mostly, I feel that I’ve haven’t given them enough love, which is one reason why I decided to read this book.

Question 2: In a time of need, have you experienced the love of a friend in such a way that made you say ‘I don’t think I would have made it without her/him’. If so, how did your friend show his or her love?

Yes. I was lucky enough to have so many people try and help me and show their love for me in these situations. One particular friend constantly has been there and always makes these situations a lot easier. One way that really makes me feel loved is when these people let me talk about my feelings and thoughts about the situation. Just knowing that I can trust them with these thoughts and feelings makes me feel valued and loved.

Question 3: Have you been a friend to someone in need? How did you express your love?

Yes. I showed my love by making sure I took the time to be there for my friend. If they wanted to talk, we would. Or if they just wanted someone to listen, I would. I really wanted to make sure I was there for them in whatever they needed me to do.

Question 4: How successful have you been in giving and receiving emotional love?

I felt I’ve done ‘good’ at it. Sometimes I really get it right and people feel how much I love it. Sometimes though, I feel I fell really short. Recent events have made me think maybe I need to take a look at how I give and receive emotional love, even to my friends and my family.

Question 5: How interested are you in studying the nature of love and learning new ways to express love?

Very interested because I want to let those who are close to me to know how much I love them. I remember someone once told me I was a very ‘lovable’ person. I want everyone to think that. I also believe that if I can show love to those around me, maybe I can find that romantic love I’ve been looking for.

Thanks for reading and whenever I get to chapter 2 questions I will do another blog.